Popular TV Shows Reverse Decision to Cancel NBC

This piece was originally posted as a Facebook note in April of 2015

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - Several popular TV shows announced today that they have decided to give broadcast network NBC another chance to stave off cancellation, tentatively reversing a decision made by the group earlier this spring.

Actor Joel McHale, speaking on behalf of the Consortium of Popular Shows (CPS), had this to say when asked for comment:

“What we’ve seen over the past month is an outpouring of support from dedicated fans of NBC, many of whom favour the traditional broadcast TV network model to newer streaming services.”

“We’re working hard to give the appearance of working hard to save this network. As such, we’ve decided to renew NBC for a limited season, and then review their performance based on an archaic ratings system which has long been outmoded by more modern technologies.”

Steve Burke, CEO of NBC, was visibly nervous during the press conference, but nonetheless made this brief statement:

“We’re super grateful to our fans, and to CPS for having faith in us. We’re staying positive about the future of our network!”

Moira Philler, a grandmother from Concord, NH, organized a letter-writing campaign to save NBC after hearing about the cancellation plans:

“It’s just awful. NBC is a mainstay of television, an iconic brand. People tell me that these newfangled streaming services are more convenient with more content. Well I say to them: what’s more convenient than simply turning on your TV and letting whatever channel you’re on decide what you’re going to watch at any given hour? Besides, streaming happens over the internet, and the internet is scary.”

Others have been more critical of the network.

“They have a cult following,” remarked John Maines of Denver, CO, “But if you ask me, a handful of weirdos and old people aren’t enough to support a TV network.”

Pressed for comment, Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, simply laughed balefully for several minutes until our reporter awkwardly absconded. 

The new season of NBC is scheduled to begin April 30th.

Jesse Schooffsnark, writing, parodynews