There are so many great things about life: sunshine, trees, sex, symphony orchestras, to name a few. Unfortunately, there's an equal number of things that suck bull testicles. I tend to be the type of person that focuses on the things which bite bull balls. So in an attempt to vent my frustration and at the same time force myself to acknowledge that there really good things in this life that make it worthwhile, I'm bringing you a new perennial feature. 5 Things that I Hate, and 5 Things that I ♥.

		Things I HATE
		Stalkers I usually wouldn't give these creeps the dignity of being on a top five hate list. I mean, most people don't like farts or a swift kick in the nads, but that's just such a basic and classless sentiment that it's not even worth mentioning. Regrettably, I know a few women right now whom are subject to creepy exes following them around. Should these creepy men ever follow their intended target to the home of Iain and Jesse, they shall experience a swift and unpleasant meeting with the Bat of Justice.
		BC Drivers Far be it for someone who's gotten in a car accident recently to complain about the way people drive but, well, here we go anyway. The reason ICBC is going to come down so hard on me with rates the next time I try to insure a vehicle is because to the way people in the province of British Columbia drive. Ie: like assholes. BC Drivers: you speed, you anger easily, you cut people off, you're impatient, and you don't pay attention to the road (to name a few). This doesn't even mention the growing crowd of young dickwads who pimp their Honda Civics in an effort to compensate for their nanoscopic wangs. I hope you all die horribly without taking any innocent bystanders with you.
		Fax machines Did you know that the first fax machine was invented in the 19th century? Which means the fax is horribly outdated. Where I work we deal with an entirely digital document workspace, EXCEPT when some luddite lawyer insists on scribbling some illegible markings on a proof he's printed out and then faxing the pages to us. Then there are the times an office worker will type the wrong recipient number into their fax machine, set it to infinite retry, then walk away. This causes some hapless victim's phone to ring off the hook until said victim picks up the phone only to be greeted by a shrill and painful fax tone. Fax machines are a low-res, outmoded, outdated technology. Had I the power to make every fax machine on earth explode in a shower of sparks in one single instant, I would not hesitate for a moment.
		George W. Bush What more can I say that I haven't already said about the man? He's an idiot leading and idiot's war that's costing countless more lives than it will ever save. He's twisting the truth and the facts to suit his needs. He's also an advocate for indoctrinating America's youth with a religious standpoint regardless of their own backgrounds. I hate him. He should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.
		The Public on Public Transit It's been said many times: I have no problem with public transit, it's the PUBLIC I have a problem with. For the last month or so I've been taking public transit to work, and have been reminded of how apt the aforementioned statement is. It really boils down to two major issues: those who talk too much, and those who smell. I have an especially sensitive nose, so to me, everybody smells. Most of the time its not a major issue; some people even smell nice! But people who ride on public transit seem to suffer from an intense allergy to soap and water. How hard is it to shower daily, people? For the love of God, nobody should smell that bad unless they're deceased. As for the other type, unless you have something more intellectually stimulating to talk about than beer and "bitches", keep your god-damned voice down. In fact, you might even want to shut up all together, because you have nothing important or relevant to say about anything.
		Things I ♥
		Women You know, I've always liked females. Not like men; I find men to be repulsive and repugnant. Women are generally much more friendly and pleasant to talk to. They're sensitive and great listeners. They generally smell nice even when they think that they don't. They have fabulous legs, REALLY fabulous. And they have all these other great parts that I won't mention here, but take my word for it, they are incredible parts. They make great friends AND great lovers. I don't know what I'd do without them. Thank God for women.
		Batman I've been on the verge of down and out these past few years when it comes to geek culture. Star Trek and me are long separated. Star Wars hasn't quite met my expectations. But if there's one thing that has kept my faith in geeky culture, it's Batman. The recent movie by Christopher Nolan was dark and gave well-deserved depth to the character. A decade after they were produced, Batman the animated series is still a show with great writing and production values. Batman has become a geek staple in my life, and I thank him. "Batman's a scientist?"
		BC Nature When I revisited Ontario a year ago I went back to the conservation area where I walked with my family as a child. I found that the natural beauty that had awed me as a child didn't pack quite the same punch as the awesome temperate rainforests of the Fraser Valley. British Columbians really are spoiled when it comes to the forests they can escape to within a stones' throw of their doorstep. If you live in the lower mainland, remember not to take it for granted.
		Massive Attack Thank you Massive Attack for proving to me that decent electronica can exist. Indeed, Massive Attack borders on being artful Electro-Acoustic music in its own right. Yay for Massive Attack.
		Instant Messengers Many a night I spent lonely and at home with my computer would have been much more lonely and boring without the ability to instantly connect to other lonely and bored people at home on their computers. Instant messaging has become so pervasive that people are more likely to share MSN names before phone numbers. Indeed, I've kindled many a local friendship recently using MSN, and maintained many a long-distance friendship. Go IM.

So there you have it, love and hate all balanced out. Let me tell you, it was pretty tough to get through all that ♥. I briefly considered splitting the women entry up into their component parts. But my mom and sister read this blog, and that's nothing they want to hear about. Next time, maybe we'll go with five things I'm divisively ambivalent on. Until we meet again...