The title of today's blogpost is "INCONCEIVABLE". Meaning, "not capable of being imagined or grasped mentally." On that word, we have two news items to go over today.

Firstly INCONCEIVABLE is the fact that the employees of Canada Post could not have known that they were kicking CHRISTMAS directly in its decorative holiday balls when they decided that RIGHT NOW would be the perfect time for a postal strike. It is INCONCEIVABLE that these VERY MINOR GRIEVANCES did not exist several months prior, or that they could not wait for two more months to be dealt with.

No. Rather, the UNION OF POSTAL COMMUNICATIONS EMPLOYEES have chosen the most hurtful possible time to strike, so that they could twist the knife and say, "Hey everybody who isn't us, FUCK YOU! We have a problem with our employers regarding short-term disability and sick leave policies, and so you're all going to hear about it! We're well-coddled employees who haven't been coddled quite enough, so little Jimmy isn't going to get his present this year! TAKE THAT."

Well done MAIL-TROLLS, well done. You know, my father has been busting his ass in small manufacturing for the better part of 40 years. He's a craftsman of extraordinary skill, but he doesn't get the cushy benefits or vast overpayment of unionized employees. He has to start work at 6AM and bust his ass under a rather out-of-touch management because he has a family to help support. So when I hear about people who dig trenches or lick stamps or mop floors whining because they're not satisfied with the deductibles they have to pay on their comprehensive employee family dental plan, I just want to say FUCK YOU. I'll always remember my blue-collar roots, but as far as I'm concerned, unionized employees are nothing but spoiled whiners who have forgotten what it really means to BUST YOUR ASS FOR THE MAN.

Well, now that I've set myself up for a targeted mob hit, let me move on to my next beef: PIRATES.

Now before I piss off a whole new group of people, let me clarify that I'm not talking about those dashing, Georgian-Victorian era, rum-drinking, Jack-Sparrow-and-friend-esque novelties. NO, SIR. I'm talking about cutthroat Somalis who would feed their own grandmother a live hand-grenade to make a quick buck.

And so it is INCONCEIVABLE that in this modern age, a ragtag group of Somalis could overrun and hijack one of the largest and most advanced oil tankers in the world. It is further INCONCEIVABLE that this unprecedented and brazen attack, which stole ONE QUARTER of Suadi Arabia's total daily oil output, seems to be going completely ignored by the United States of America.

Yes, we seem to be readily able to send thousands of young Americans TO THEIR DEATHS and spend BILLIONS OF DOLLARS in a naive attempt to secure a U.S.-friendly outpost in the oil-rich middle-east. But apparently we can't send a few navy vessels out to slaughter a few dozen pirates who, (unlike random Iraqi citizens unlucky enough to be caught in some crossfire) deserve to be slaughtered, because they represent an ACTUALLY GENUINE threat both to global security, AND the primary energy source of the United States.

Are the big governments of the world really going to let this go unpunished? Soon enough, pirates will look at this incident and say to themselves: "SHIT, SON! We can get away with ANYTHING." If governments know what's good for them, they'll send some elite ops agents in under the cover of night to slit some throats and save the hostages.

Where the HELL are James Bond, Jason Bourne, and Solid Snake WHEN WE NEED THEM?