I had a weird dream last night. I was in a public place, like some kind of hall (for some reason). I was just coming home from somewhere on a weekend. My hair was a mess because I hadn't showered that day, I had a couple of days worth of beard growth, and I was carrying around my stuff in a plastic bag.

Then suddenly there was this frenzy of media and a big crowd. I allowed myself to be carried along out of curiosity. And I realized that The Queen was there in the room with me, and was taking the unusual step of individually meeting members of the public. I also realized that I was being ushered along in the line of people looking for a meeting/greeting. "Shit, shit," I thought, because this clearly was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to personally meet with a British monarch, but I looked awful. So I just kept getting pushed along and thinking "'Your Majesty', not 'Your Highness', 'Your Majesty', not 'Your Highness'."

And then I was face to face with our head of state, grinning like an idiot. We actually exchanged pleasant greetings while I bowed gratuitously. The she pointed at my torso and politely said, "I'm afraid you might have some filth on your shirt there, sir." I looked down and realized I was wearing my "Sarcasm is One of the Services I Offer" shirt, and it had some kind of food stain on it. I felt like a total hobo.

Then Iain showed up and pooped all over everything with explosive diarrhoea (okay, that last part didn't happen, but if Iain had access to my dream at that point it's totally what he would have done; For reals).

And now for something completely different: Jeff's Kitchen Bling

Bling!