I could rail on right now about various macabre subjects dancing through my mind, or make fun of the Boston police yet again. But I think that there's a more pressing social question that should be considered: How do you wipe your ass?

One blogger decided that since no one talks about this sort of thing, it was clearly necessary to conduct a comprehensive study. The results are truly shocking. Given the final numbers, it's clear that many of us need to brush up on proper technique.

This is social science at it's zenith, people.