Allen has given me strict instructions to never, EVER post my "freaky-ass dreams" on my blog again. Fair enough. I've also been reminded that my Mom reads this blog. Jamie, on the other hand, was more offended by the comment on Freudian analysis. To each their own.

So its been a while since scientists recovered fully "edible" (god knows why you'd want to) Mammoth tissue from remains frozen thousands of years ago. Try this on for size: after sawing a T-rex femur in half so that they could fit the massive specimen in their transport helicopter, a team of palaeontologists discovered that it still contained soft tissue. Tissue preserved intact after more than 65 million years. The lab in possession of the tissue has quickly issued a statement assuring us "This does not mean that we are cloning dinosaurs in our lab and we probably will not." ... probably...

Lastly, you need to read the comic Perry Bible Fellowship. I've read all of them now. So should you. GO!

Posted at 12:00 AM

Okay, this is a red-letter week for weird dreams. Last night I dreamed I was at a comedy festival. Cathy Jones was doing a bit on stage (anyone who watches CBC's This Hour Has 22 Minutes knows who that is). I ended up getting pulled out of the crowd for a bit of embarass-the-audience-member humour, but I talked back and actively heckled her (probably because I've never thought her 22 Minutes sketches were very funny). I really gave her the one-two and kinda screwed up her act. Afterwards I felt bad so when I saw her I went up to her and apologized. Then I gave her a hug. Then she kissed me. That was where the dream got kind of weird.

For someone who hasn't done much dreaming at all over the past few years I have to say that I'm pretty well over my quota at this point. Maybe I need to have a talk with Freud. I can see Jamie rolling her eyes now...

Posted at 12:00 AM

Woo... had some Local Angst going on there in that last post. It was a long way of saying that I had an extended dream about my ex from 8 months past and I woke up for work all pissed off; my entire day soured before it had even begun. Curious that I'd had a conversation about this kind of feeling with Jen C. on the weekend, in that seeing someone can dredge up all the yucky feelings and hurt, even though realistically you're long over them.

Having such a vivid characterization of my ex trotting through my subconscious reminds me of a sub-story in Farscape. Very long story very short, the main villain (Scorpius) embeds part of his personality into the main character (John Crichton). This makes Crichton a puppet for a while, but eventually he wins out and expels the controlling entity. Nonetheless, for the rest of Crichton's life part of Scorpius' personality lives in the back of his mind, giving John advice on getting out of tight spots from the evil perspective of things

Perhaps that's a bit of an extreme comparison. But as for my mind, it's clear that she's permanently imprinted in there. There to remind me, "Yes, we happened," "Yes, you loved me," and maybe even, "Despite all that happened, and despite what you try to convince yourself, I loved you too."

Ugh... I think I just ruined my day again. Love sucks.

Posted at 12:00 AM

Get out of my head,
to me you're dead.
You never even existed.

Stay out of my dreams.
I'm taking this to extremes,
in my eyes, you'll never be redeemed.

From my history, I need to erase you.
With all of my heart, I must forever deface you.
By every part of my life, I have to out-live you.
In every inch of my soul, I must never forgive you.

Be-gone from my life,
cause me no more strife.
In my mind, your memory can only be a knife.

Get out of my head,
you and I are dead.
What was us never even existed.

  - Jesse Schooff
      3/22/05

Posted at 12:00 AM

Man, my brain is finally feeling really stimulated here. It was down for the count for a while; disillusioned and bored with everything and unwilling to listen to other people's ideas after 7 years of college/university. But then I started reading, writing, drawing in Photoshop, singing, and setting up my own webserver. My brain is now happy and operating within acceptable parameters. "Local man, likes his brain. What's your opinion?"

That webserver is coming along nicely. I still have to update Apache and PHP, because the versions that ship with standard Mac OS X are a little old (you need OS X Server for the latest versions). It's cool to be able to create something complex yourself.

Posted at 12:00 AM

At last, after much eBay consternation I have received my latest toy through FedEx. Its an old Blue and White Powermac G3/400. I just finished installing Mac OS X on it which gives me tons of UNIX goodness to play with. I've already updated Apache, mySQL and PHP. Thanks to an awesome new ADSL deal from Uniserve, I'll be able to host my website at home. They'll give a static IP address to home customers (which you'll need to give a server a domain name) for only $4 a month. Sweet!

Posted at 12:00 AM

Lots of movie trailer goodness to talk about today. Yesterday the official trailer for Star Wars Episode III was unveiled. Iain and I couldn't hold the drool gushing from our mouths. It looks so good. So dark and apocalyptic, full of conflict and character development. Everything that the final chapter of the prequels should be. I still half expect to have my faith rewarded with utter disillusionment, while Iain is so convinced that the movie will be good that he says he'll devote the rest of his life to destroying George Lucas if he gets disappointed. I believe him.

Also tickling my interest is the movie adaptation of Phillip K Dyck's A Scanner Darkly. Not only because its good classic sci-fi but also because the entire film is digitally rotoscoped for a unique look. It's looking like the Disney version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy isn't a complete travesty, but somehow I'm still worried.

Last and least, I'd like to thank Zathura for wasting away 2-3 minutes of my life which I'll never get back. Let me sum this movie up for you in three simple words: Jumanji in Space. Take my advice, don't watch the trailer. Save your time, support original ideas.

Posted at 12:00 AM

Ladies and Gentlemen, Phase 2 is complete. Thank you for your patience.

This weekend was awesome. The sun was shining, spring was in the air. I spent much of the time outside, walking. Yesterday Nadia and I hung out around English Bay. I couldn't have asked for a nicer day. However, I did spend a lot of time kicking myself for not bringing a camera with me. At least them I could have shot a picture or two of that guy balancing sharp rocks on their edges.

It seems that everyone has their own blog these days. I'm starting to feel a bit squeezed out; diluted, if you will. I prefer to think of what I have not just as a blog, but as a SITE. Something with creative content and a photo gallery and other fun stuff. Something you should know about blogs though is that people read them, so sometimes its not always wise to say certain things. Unless you want to piss them off, of course... ? ;-)

Posted at 12:00 AM

"PHASE ONE IS COMPLETE!!!"
"That's my favourite phase..."

A few people actually complained about me changing the site because they liked a lot of the design elements. So I decided to find a way to replace/pimp up the things I hated and keep most of the rest. The main page is done, but the sub-pages still need to be worked on so there's going to be some inconsistency with the colours for a while (you might want to hit refresh a couple of times).

Iain has steadfastly refused to pry his face away from Superdickery. It's basically a collection of DC Superman covers from back in the days before we discovered that women could drive cars and have jobs. Good for a few laughs.

Posted at 12:00 AM

Okay, I have to face it. The design of my website sucks.

Those of you who have little or no HTML skills might be thinking me daft at this moment. However, I've been surfing around looking at other people's blog sites lately, and I'm clearly lacking in the aesthetics department. I mean, look at the header: bright orange and red Tremor ITC? Ugh... Back in the day I wanted some orange to go with my red-haired self, but it seems to me now that it only comes across as garish. So I'm off to Photoshop to make something better. Please wish me luck.

UPDATE: Ummm, yeah.... So after creating the better part of a horrible pimped-up monstrosity of translucent orbs and brushed metal, I've come to my senses and realized that something in a little better taste would be advisable. I just needed to get all that pent-up graphic design energy out of my system. I'm good now. Really.

Posted at 12:00 AM

I've got something for Mom to put up on her refrigerator and proudly say "My son drew that!" I created this image of a planet and starscape using effects in Adobe Photoshop. No 3D software was required, it's all digital paint. I learned how to make the planet from a tutorial by the amazing Greg Martin. I'm eager to try some different things with different styles of planets. In the meantime, I've made myself a new desktop. Kewl!

Posted at 12:00 AM

It's been a few weeks since I saw the movie Office Space, which reminded me much more of my factory job at ASI than my current office job at AFS. It seems that a lot of Office Space paraphernalia has evolved. For example, the Red Swingline Stapler seen in the movie is now available either from Swingline itself or from ThinkGeek. Someone also decided to make a nice PDF of the TPS Report with the Initech logo. Someone else is selling Coffee cups and mousepads with the Initech logo on them. And if that weren't horrifying enough, there are actually a few real companies that are called Initech. Three, to be exact.

Posted at 12:00 AM

Shelley, an online friend of mine from Wisconsin has helped bring new meaning to the term "Liberal Drinking". In fact, it even got her in the news. In case this link expires before you get to it, Liberal Drinking is a social club in the U.S. where Liberals go to a bar, drink liberally, and socialize. Heck, at this point in history, it's better than staying sober.

I should probably mention that the poem in the last post was influenced largely by my general annoyance at being seen as scary by women in certain situations. Parking garages, for example, are a big one. Then there's my ever so favourite of walking home late at night and finding yourself gaining on a small person looking back at you frequently. You just want to tell them to stop and let you pass so you can stop feeling like a bloody stalker. My favourite tale in relation to this subject is the day a beautiful young East Indian woman ran up to me in the driving rain and asked if she could share my umbrella. Being a gentleman, I gladly obliged and introduced myself. Then, when we approached the parking garage which was the nearest entrance to our college she parted ways, insisting on going the long way around to the main entrance on the other side of the building. I bewilderedly went on my separate way. It wasn't until days later when, as my friends joked with me, I had the epiphany, "Oh of course, how silly of me! She thinks I'm going to rape her in the shadows behind some SUV!"

Seriously, do I really look that scary? I mean I'm tall, sure. But I'm rather scrawny. Maybe its the eyes...

Posted at 12:00 AM

I remember,
Girls are icky, except for mommy.
Staring up at everyone, don't talk to strangers.
Colourful, plastic toys provide hours of amusement.
I have no money. Who needs it?

Now,
I have money, I make it every day. I have loans to pay. I could always use more cash,
for austere gadgets to make my complicated life easier, or perhaps more entertaining, for a short while.
Nearly everyone is shorter than me; young women watch me fearfully as they pass me in the parking garage.
I smile a greeting at them sometimes; it doesn't seem to help. A compliment might well scare them. So I stay isolated.

Do you remember when it was less complicated?

Posted at 12:00 AM

ARRRGGH!!!! I just wanted to point and scowl at the fans demonstrating in front of Paramount over the cancellation of Enterprise. These people are not geeks, nor are they even nerds, they are DORKS. Losers. Have they nothing better to do with their time? They're out there holding signs that read "Save Star Trek!". Hey, umm, where were you guys a few years ago when Braga started ruining the genre with his anti-genius? Where were you then with your "Save Star Trek" signs? Hmm? Probably oogling the T.V. slack-jawed and saying "They're showin' boobs in Star Trek? Cool!"

DORKS!!!

Posted at 12:00 AM