Well, this is kind of interesting…

This morning when I checked my e-mail, I found a curious message for "geekman" from one Kris Schantz. My memory wasn't jogged until I opened the mail and realized that Kris Schantz was none other than the creator of the GeekMan action figure, and founder of the toy company Happy Worker Inc. He did his best to allay my fears about hordes of lawyers having their way with me. I must say that I was a little embarrassed! I wrote him a reply congratulating him about his product and assuring him that nothing I say should be taken seriously. You can read both the e-mails here.

Posted at 12:00 AM

On Sunday afternoon I went on a little adventure to try to find a copy of MarioKart: Double-Dash. I've been dropping by and asking at various retailers for about a week now. The game is immensely popular right now, and nobody seems to have copies available. Finally, I dropped by a local Future Shop and asked a clerk if they had any left. After a ten-minute adventure in their warehouse, the clerk returned with what he claimed to be one of two remaining copies. I thanked him and continued happily on to the cashier.

Upon getting home, I began playing the game solo, hoping to eventually tempt my sister into playing against me. Getting Angel to play competitive multiplayer games can be an uphill battle. My past suggestions of playing Marathon or Starcraft against eachother were handily dismissed, amid concerns that I would almost certainly kill her horribly. So, after allowing her appetite to be whet by watching me play single-player, I invited her to race against me. I tried not to play too aggressively, and of course I won the first game. However, she beat me in the second game. "Man, I must be out of practice! Time to put some effort into it…" Still, she beat me in the next two or three games! From there forth a fierce rivalry of shell-throwing and banana-peel tossing developed, whilst colorful profanities were shouted amid torrents of laughter. This is why MarioKart is such a brilliant game. If the GameCube had been in any danger of becoming a moot system, Double-Dash certainly played a large part in averting that.

Posted at 12:00 AM

1-26-04 Monday, January 26, 2004

As Fez would say, "Well, this is a cold slap in the groin."

While paroozing Google News as part of my morning routine, I was shocked to find my newest handle (GeekMan) in the title of a news clip. It turns out that at a new toy was recently debuted at the 64th Canadian Toy & Hobby Fair in Toronto. It’s a superhero known as Geekman. Apparently, he can be identified by his spectacles and pocket protector, and is known for his "ungodly coding abilities," "opposite sex repulsion" and "less than ideal personal hygiene routine." Sounds to me like they're confusing geeks with nerds: a mistake that the layperson is often prone to make. Oh, I'd be happy and all for the inclusion of this subculture into the superhero genre, if I didn't have this sense of foreboding about some lawyers kicking down my door, saying that I've infringed on their copyright somehow. However, I'm pretty sure I was here first.

I've come to the realization that I haven't said anything about the Mars missions. Thanks to NASA and the ESA, Mars is buzzing with activity (Well, buzzing as far as space exploration is concerned). NASA has now successfully landed its second rover, Opportunity, on the surface of the red planet. Red soil, a bunch of rocks, and a thin, dusty atmosphere never looked so beautiful. Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond, the ESA is telling us to be really happy that the Mars Express orbiter is working so well, but I can't help feeling quite disheartened that the lander, Beagle 2, is unaccounted for. It would have been nice to see someone other than the U.S. making as much headway in space. Likewise with Japan's ill-fated Nozomi orbiter. Mars does have sort of a curse to it: a way of eating space probes. Nevertheless, I still hold out hope that I'll get to see human beings on Mars within my lifetime.

Posted at 12:00 AM

There's always been a strange rivalry between Nintendo and Microsoft. The Microsoft campus sits just about across the street from Nintendo of America's headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Today it's even more bitter, as Microsoft tries to use its immense marketing clout to move into gaming territory with Xbox while pushing Nintendo out.

That's why I found this little news tidbit interesting. Slashdot.org is reporting that the same nerds who are porting Linux to Xbox have decided to do a GameCube port as well. Pretty nerdy, huh? Well, it turns out there are some interesting applications (using them as consoles for viewing streaming MPEG movies over a network, for one). However, it's a pain in the butt to get custom software to work on GameCube. Firstly, the GameCube uses a proprietary 3.5 inch optical disc format that can't be reproduced with conventional DVD/CD burners. Because of this, anyone who wants to load custom software into the GameCube's memory has to use some ugly network hack. Secondly, the project will be made a great deal more difficult by the fact that Nintendo only releases its Software Development Kit (SDK) for the cube to authorized developers. Using it without permission consitutes copyright violation.

Personally, I think that Nintendo should give these guys an SDK license to develop Linux on GameCube. Why? To piss off Microsoft of course! In its last annual report, Microsoft listed Linux of one of the mains threats to its business. A free operating system that's developed by competent volunteers around the world for the good of mankind? Why, it just makes Bill Gates shiver, I tells ya. So help these kids out! It will cost you virtually nothing, but the return on the investment would just be so sweet. It's better than just shooting spitballs at the Microsoft HQ.

(P.S. - I promise that the next post will have nothing to do with pissing off Microsoft... well... maybe a little.)

Posted at 12:00 AM

Microsoft owns you, too. Well, maybe not directly. Here's the thing: a 17 year-old web designer from Victoria, British Columbia, has been served papers from Microsoft for copyright violation. His name is Mike Rowe, and the name of his company is Mike Rowe Soft. Ba-doom-boom, ching. Well, Microsoft didn't find it so funny. They sent him a cease and desist order a few days back, diplomatically offering him ten bucks for the domain name. Pretty sad, huh?

Now Microsoft, seriously, do you think that anyone is going to be stupid enough to confuse mikerowesoft.com, the website of a 17 year old web designer, with microsoft.com, the website of the biggest, scariest, rapingest corporation on the planet? Okay sure, there are people that stupid, but we're talking really, really stupid people here. Do you actually want people that stupid as customers? I mean, think of the calls to tech support. Your poor techies will be spending three hours on the line with some yokel trying to help him grasp the fact that his DVD-drive can't be used as a toaster (or the other way around). This Mike Rowe guy, he's saving you money. You should be thanking him, paying him even.

Now aren't you glad I spun that the right way for you? But then, who am I to lecture a multinational corporation about spin doctoring...

Posted at 12:00 AM

I've been brewing up my first rant for a while now. Star Trek has been at the core of my geekiness for many years now. And I think its safe to say that anyone who's followed Trek has been sorely disappointed with the performance of Enterprise. That's why I'm filing for divorce.

Posted at 12:00 AM

So, this weekend I finally had the pleasure of taking my girlfriend out to see The Return of the king. This is something which I've been meaning to do for a while. It was a huge bonding experience, truly, since my geekiness and her lack thereof can sometimes create a little tension in the relationship. I do believe that she enjoyed it immensely, though. The scene with Shelob did freak Nancy out quite a bit, being arachnophobic and all (I had to encourage her to uncover her eyes several times). She also got pretty weepy near the end when it was apparent that all was well and that the Hobbits were the true heros of the movie. Upon seeing this, even though this was my third viewing of the film, I finally let a couple drop myself (which Nancy, upon seeing that, announced that I totally got "sentimental guy brownie points", which are a good thing as long as none of your guy friends are around).

Seriously though, I can't say enough good things about this movie. The whole thing just restores your faith in humanity. I keep replaying the scene in my head where Sam decides to carry Frodo, and thinking of the powerful statement it makes about friendship and loyalty. I don't know if Nadia, my friend touring in Europe, has seen it yet. If she hasn't, she'd damn-well better get around to it soon.

Posted at 12:00 AM

Hi.... could I have an Happy Burger... wait... make that two Happy Burgers... one with cheese, and one with no pickles... that is, make sure that the one without cheese has pickles, and the the one with cheese doesn't. Could I also get one medium coke and two large sprites... oh... make the coke a large and one of the sprites a small.... we'll also have a six pack of... no... make that a twelve pack of chicken McNuggets, and a large french fries... actually... make it two large fries. What's that? They're not called chicken McNuggets here? Okay, we don't want them, then. Oh... change one of the burgers of a chicken burger... the one that's not a cheeseburger, you know? And make sure we've got plenty of ketchup. On second thought, make my Sprite into a medium orange drink. Mine was the large Sprite. Please make sure that there are no pickles on the chicken burger. I know we wanted pickles on it when it was a hamburger but chicken with pickles is nasty. Did I say "french fries" earlier? I meant to say FREEDOM fries. Okay, Bob's decided that he wants a Double Quarter Pounder, no cheese. He would like a medium Sprite as well. Wait... could you change the small Sprite into a root beer? Not Bob's Sprite but the Sprite I ordered earlier. Could we also downsize one of our large fries to a medium fries? Thanks.

Okay... so let me get this straight for myself: We're getting a small coke, a large sprite, two small root beers, a double chicken burger, three cheeseburgers, six chicken McNuggets, three small fires, extra mustard, and some onion rings, right?

Oh... and do you have any of those Beanie Baby toys left?

Posted at 12:00 AM

When boxing week (as I've been trained to call it by the retail industry) rolled around this year, I gave into temptation and bought myself the first console system I've owned since my original NES, way back in the day. Don't get me wrong, I've played every SNES game worth playing (perhaps not legally), and I own a few Playstation games which I used to enjoy through emulation.

I chose to get myself a GameCube. Why? Two things: cheap and fun. Nintendo has created a great, affordable system that doesn't force options upon me that I don't need and will never use such as DVD playback and network adapters. Otherwise, I might have been tempted to get a PS2, and get backward compatibility for my small investment of PS1 games. As for the XBOX, I'd rather kiss Mark Messier before I help Microsoft add yet another industry to its harem of market slaves.

A lot of critics say that the Cube is a kids' system: a playtoy. Well, let's face it, people, games are toys. Their primary goal is to be fun. That's why I'd rather be trying to blue-shell my friends playing MarioKart: Double Dash than alone in some basement trying to assassinate someone in a game like Splinter Cell. I hope a lot more gamers appreciate the Cube for the simple joys it brings, I know the boys at Penny Arcade do.

Posted at 12:00 AM